~flutter~

A group of women get together who ensure a mother-less infant gets the best start in life. God bless these amazing women!

http://www.miningjournal.net/page/content.detail/id/524498.html?nav=5006

3 months of breastfeeding my newborn! And 22months of breastfeeding my toddler :D

Afraz is going through a phase where he loooooves nursing in a sling to sleep. If possible, he’d want to nurse in a sling all day and have my boobs right there when he wakes up.

Aqil has gone from nursing like a newborn to nursing once or twice a day. I have a feeling that he’s close to weaning, and it’s so bittersweet. I would have liked to nurse him longer but I know that he’s just moving onto the next phase of his life. I’ve always wanted the decision to wean to be his, anyway.

We hardly ever tandem nurse anymore since DS1 isn’t bothered with nursing much. I’m quite relieved, since having both of them on my tiny body was getting tiresome! I’m having a lot of trouble with positioning now that Afraz is bigger. It used to be that Aqil had the roaming hands, rubbing his baby brother's head and pressing his nose, etc. But now Afraz is the one punching and kicking his poor big brother, who just takes it calmly. I have to be the referee most times, which is difficult with both of them on me, as I'm sure you can imagine!!

In the midst of my sleep-deprived stupor today, a thought occurred to me. It happened around the time I was trying to bounce my very-awake cooing newborn to sleep in a sling while chasing my gleefully squealing naked toddler around the dining table. Where do they get their energy from? What is it about life that invigorates them so much? Then the answer hits me - everything!

My newborn can stare at his own hands for ten minutes, completely fascinated. My toddler can play with his shadow for half an hour, yelling at the top of his lungs the whole time. When he was a newborn, my toddler could watch our cat’s every movement for hours without even blinking. My newborn seems to think that every song I sing is deserving of a big gummy grin and a long cooing commentary rivaling that of the American Idol judges. And apparently my toddler just loves the feeling of air billowing around his privates.

Why is it that we, as adults, take these things for granted? It seems like we just” don’t have time” for these things. But the truth is, we’ll never have time. We’re all running out of time. We’re all headed for a meeting with Death, whether sooner or later, we can’t know. So why not make time for appreciating the simple, yet profound, things that life, nature, family and friends have to offer?

Look at your face in the mirror and really take a good look at yourself – the slope of your nose, the angle of your jaws, the curve of your eyebrows. Play with your shadow – have a shadow puppet competition with your friends. Watch God’s other creatures go about their business – a cat grooming itself, a bird feeding its young, a tree billowing in the wind. Sing! – Have a karaoke session with your friend, or sing with your best voice while you shower. You can even feel the joy of “hanging free” – but only if you plan on doing naked circuits around your own dining table, thanks.

Life isn’t short or long. It is what it is. You can either enjoy every bit of it while you still can, or you can choose to disregard the small details only to realize one day that the small details are all that mattered...

We made it to six weeks!



Nursing has been so much easier this time around. I don't know if it's just experience or having a better nurser (he nursed within ten minutes after his birth and latched on perfectly from the start). Unfortunately, I have overactive letdown again, so we're trying to work through that. I do let my "human pump" (a.k.a Aqil) nurse first if possible, to gobble up that first letdown, but my subsequent letdowns are just as strong. Plus, unlike DS1 who always looooooved the fast flow, this one actually cries when it happens.

Tandem nursing has been quite an experience. The first month was tough because I had major agitation issues with Aqil and just couldn't stand nursing him. But that has pretty much vanished. My cousin, who is still tandem nursing her 1+yr old and 3+yr old, gave me a tip: find a tandem nursing position you're comfortable with and stick with it. Now I pretty much only tandem nurse in a semi-reclining modified double-cradle/cradle-football hold or side-lying with the newborn while the toddler is in the perch position from behind. Pics behind the cut if my descriptions don't make sense ;)

Afraz is always nursing, of course. Aqil has his days - some days he only nurses twice, some days (like today) he wants to nurse every time he spots his brother nursing *LOL* Anyway, onto the pictures!

( tandem )

I am SO SORRY. LJ completely slipped my mind when it came to places to put my birth story!!! Anyway, here it is, if y'all are interested :D

( Birth )

I love being able to get on my laptop for 15-minute spurts throughout the day. But I introduced Aqil to the magical world that is YouTube and now he will request his favorite videos (baby signing videos about animals) whenever he spots me using the laptop. I'm sick to death of the videos, but he's learned SO MANY words and signs this way, it's just fascinating!

His vocabulary mostly consists of animal names right now. He's not that interested in much else *LOL* But he's starting to say things like "sit", "shishi", and the occasional "mama" and "dada". I'd prefer if he learned words that were more functional than animal names, buuuut I'll take what I can get ;) At least he understands a lot of words and simple instructions. That, in itself, helps out a lot.

I'm at that point in pregnancy where I just can't get comfortable enough to sleep. It is a cruel joke that I wake up several times a night when Aqil has finally started sleeping through the night!! I've been having strange dreams too. For the past week, I've been dreaming about giving birth. Every time its been at home, pain-free and I'd be running around afterwards like nothing came out of me. How I wish that would happen!

2009 is shaping up to be an amazing year. Aqil is going to gain a little brother and possibly TWO new aunts! That's right, my brother's engaged :D The date has not been set just yet but I am already super-excited and sooooo happy for them. Farhan's brother also just got engaged, and plans to wed by the end of the year. Its a very exciting time for our family :D PLUS, my new baby will be born in the year of the Ox, just like me.

Ok then, I had to leave my laptop at least five times while writing this...and now Aqil is requesting his "chicken" video on YouTube. LOL. Will update more soon!

Livin' on the edge! Hahah...actually Facebook has finally let me upload pics so I'm adding a bunch of photos now while I can. Farhan is enjoying his last day off (I still can't believe we had him for a whole week...it is quite honestly one of the best weeks of my life) by just watching another DVD. He might regret that in a few hours time when he has to get up and go to work, but hey, this is as adventurous as we get in terms of a break in routine ;) Aqil's sleeping on a mattress on the floor of the TV room, while I'm out in the dining room typing this. I just realized that I can join Farhan in the TV room because DUH this is a laptop. But what if that jinxes my new Facebook luck!?!?

I'm really gonna miss my hubby when he goes back to work. For the past three months now I only see him a few days a month because he is off at various sites around the country supervising installations of something. Everyday I wish that he has a 9-5 job and that I would get to see him everyday. Aqil has been the happiest of all of us this past week. They've really bonded again, and it breaks my heart to think that soon Farhan will be gone for weeks at a time again. Luckily we're staying with my parents, so Aqil is not want for love and attention. But grandparent-y affection is different from fatherly affection. No one else can throw him in the air or carry him on their shoulder the way Daddy does, y'know? Gahh...I promised myself I wouldn't cry...

As for me, of course I will miss having him around. But I'm an adult, so I can understand why he's gone. To Aqil, his Daddy will just have vanished again. I grew up in a household where my dad travelled a lot. Its affected me to this day, and though I'm not one to carry grudges, I do have some resentment over that period in my life. Nowadays, though, my dad comes home early. I asked him why, and he said he felt sorry for his grandson because Farhan was away so much. I pointed out that he never felt sorry for me when I was a kid. He replied that "Yeah, that's why I'm trying to make up for it now"...Awwwh.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Hubby dearest got me a new laptop as a birthday&anniversary present, so I hope to update more in the coming months (well, at least until the baby comes, at which point I'd rather spend any free time sleeping than on the computer).

Now I'm not one for resolutions, so I'm not gonna call these that, but here are a list of things I would like to accomplish in the next year:
- Eat healthier. This means less junk food, more fresh and preferably organic food. More fruits and veges too.
- Drink more water. Notice I said water, not liquid. I take in plenty of liquids a day in the form of juice and soymilk, but I haaaaaaaaaaaaaate water. So I'm going to bump up my water intake (slowly, lol) to at least 6 glasses a day.
- Find more time for myself. I need to feel less guilty about taking some time to myself. Half an hour a day is plenty...just enough to take a long shower, maybe read a chapter in a book. And I'm not talking about when the babies are sleeping either, because that's when I should be napping too. I'm talking about when other people are around to help take care of them for a little bit.
- Worry less. I'm a chronic worrier. I worry about everyone, all the time. Some rational, some...not so much. So, I'm going to consciously cut down on unnecessary worrying because frankly it's pretty tiring and its really pointless.
- Be better to the environment. This means no more forgetting to bring my reusable bags when going grocery shopping! This also means recycling (we used to this a lot in the States because its so convenient; I'm ashamed to admit I don't know where the recycling center for my area is). And of course, continue cloth diapering myself and the babies ;) Also, use less plastic! Stop wasting water! I can go on and on about this topic.
- Go to new places more often. Its hard to branch out to new, unfamiliar places (read: places where I don't know where the nearest baby changing area is), but I have to do this just to expose myself and the kids to new environments.

I'm sure I can think of more, but we're off to Aquaria now (see? I'm already starting on that last one!).

Tomorrow is makes it our third year of being blissfully married ;) LOL.

I love you, sweety. You're a wonderful husband and amazing dad...I couldn't have made a better choice.

Muah!

OMG!It says here on LJ that I haven't updated in 12 weeks! How very bad of me! Well I can't update much right now because I'm typing this on my phone,but here's a brief update 4 those not on Facebook. I'm about 5 months pregnant and IT'S A BOY! Aqil is 15 months old, running everywhere & into everything. He's also starting to talk!Right now he can say duck,dog,fish,what's that?,bird,nak (want),tak nak (don't want). Unfortunately he doesn't call me Mommy. The closest I can get is him tugging at my shirt,whining & yelling 'nak nak nak', LOL. Well my thumbs are tired so I will update more when I'm at a computer & not when its past midnight & I'm too uncomfortable to sleep & thus am surfing the net on my phone.

I'm still blissful in the knowledge that I am, yet again, with child. But the morning sickness and heartburn does take away from the magic a little bit ;)

We're having trouble setting up the wireless internet in our house, so that's why I haven't been online much. The only way I can get online is to actually be in the secluded un-childproofed study room, and as you can imagine, thta is almost impossible to do with a one-year-old to watch.

Btw, Aqil is now one year old!!! What a big boy! I still can't believe it!

Last Thursday, I had a funny feeling, and so this is what I ( did )

I have been neglecting LJ again. Sorry! I just never find the time to get online nowadays. Spending too much time bonding with family, of course ;)

I just found out that the chicken my mom gets sent to our place is organic! That makes me so happy. And if that weren't great enough, this company makes organic chicken sausages and chicken meatballs too. And they are planning to produce whole wheat bread. LOVE it! Well not so much the bread - I'm too used to bleached, overly-processed bread myself. But knowing that the chicken Aqil will eat is organic really puts my mind at ease. Not to mention my mom is already planning to start using mostly glass for our family - no more noxious plastics :)

I also found out at our recent family reunion that two of my cousins are still breastfeeding their almost-three-year-olds, and one of them is also tandem nursing her 7-month-old. And another cousin, who is now a mother to a teenager herself, was breastfed till she was 6. Isn't my family just AWESOME?! It felt so natural and comfortable for my relatives who were still nursing, to just sit down, lift our shirts and nurse our babies. That was the first time I got to nurse Aqil along with other mommies nursing their babies, and it was a pretty poignant moment for me to feel that sense of camaraderie and overwhelming normality of breastfeeding :D

I also got to show them all the new-style cloth diapers, and of course, the different carriers for babywearing. It was fun!

Speaking of babywearing, I've also been busy with Malaysian Babywearers. I am planning to do PR for MBW while we are setting up our organization, and spearhead the KL branch of MBW. We're planning to have our next KL meetup sometime early July. Any Malaysian mommies (or mommies-to-be or even just people planning to be mommies in the future) wanna come? Let me know! It'll be fun, I promise!

I suspect I have put on quite a bit of weight since we returned, just as I predicted :p I can't say I am overly happy about it, but being able to eat all the food I've been missing is so worth it. AND being able to drink all the Yeo's Soya Bean drink I can handle! (Which, by the way, is made from "100% Canadian Soybeans", Julie).

I'm still not sure about what my next move is gonna be. I want to do my Master's part-time, but I'm not sure if I want to get a Master's degree in Business Administration or Communication. As far as jobs go, I do not want anything 9-5, so anything where I can work from home or create my own schedule would be great. The best would be freelance writing, of course, but I'm open to anything else. This is a cue for all of you with contacts to get in touch with me and put in a good word for me ;)

Well, I'm off to drink some soya and chillax (lol). See (some of) ya~!

I'm back home! FINALLY! :D We've been back a week now, but I've been too busy to update. Sorry!

I still can't believe I'm home. It's so surreal - being around family, eating delicious Malaysian food, sweating bullets when we're out. But it's amazing :D

We're still in the process of getting used to everything...We've been away for so long, and its been only the three of us for so long, that we have to get used to even just being around so many people again. It's fantastic, though, because Aqil is really flourishing socially. He's always been a friendly guy, he only takes a minute to warm up to someone, and then that person becomes his new best friend.

Speaking of my little guy, he's got two teeth already! He's been eating a lot more now that he can rip food off with his teeth. And he looooves Malaysian food. A lot of people here are surprised that we are doing baby-led solids, and keep asking whether we're feeding him porridge/purees. I'm like, "No, I figure if it stresses him out and stresses me out, its probably not the best intro to foods". My little man just enjoys feeding himself, what can I say. It makes life a lot easier for me, too ;)

I know a lot of people are anxious to see us but we're still trying to establish a routine of sorts before having people over or going out to meet people. Y'all can try calling me but I'm so bad at locating my phone, LOL. In fact I think right now my phone is dead because it ran out batteries - I haven't touched it in like two days. I'm not used to getting phone calls and text messages!

Anyway I'll update more when I can, and maybe even post photos ;) I'm so happy to be home!

I've been waking up anxious for the past few days. My first thoughts are always "I only have __ days left and I still have so much to do!" and then "I can't believe I'm leaving already".

We leave Tuesday morning from here. We're driving down to Chi-town and taking a flight to LA from there (4hrs+). We'll be there for 5 hours, enough time for dinner and letting Aqil stretch his legs. And then we'll board our flight to KL...its only FOURTEEN HOURS *rolls eyes*

I know we'll be dead on our feet when we arrive but I'm sure we'll stay up all day! There's gonna be food and family...I can't wait!

I'll be anxious and excited until we touch down safely with no minimal complications. Gahh we're finally going hoooooome! :D

Aqil is cutting his first tooth! Woohoo!!!

He's been in an OK mood, not a whole lot of tears or anything. But he's had diarrhea for the past two days. NOT pleasant.

It doesn't help that Farhan is sick and I'm dealing with "that time of the month" again. After 18mos without it, it is taking some getting used to, having to change my own "diapers". *LOL*

Last Sunday we went to Potter Park Zoo to (finally) meet Richard, Julie and their boys Dylan and Noah. I say 'finally' because I've been online friends with Richard for 9 years, and with Julie for a couple of years now, and we've been wanting to meet up since I moved to the states (they're from Canada). So now that we're about to go back to Malaysia, we finally decided to just do it!

It was a great day but I forgot to bring my camera!! Gaahhh I can be so absent-minded sometimes! Anyway THANKS Richard and Julie for bringing your camera. I had so much fun and it was so great to finally meet you both. Thanks for driving 7 hours (x2!) just to see us. And thanks for just being great friends :D Anyway, onto the ( pictures! )

9 months of breastfeeding!. I'm so proud of the both of us! Some days are more difficult than others, like when he's distracted and will only nurse for 2-minute spurts and crawl away and then come back ten minutes later to nurse another 2 minutes...and on and on and on till he gets cranky because he's gotten himself hungry ;p (can you tell today is one of those days??).

An awesome thing is happening now, though. He seems to recognize the "milk" sign! I've been signing "milk" to him at every feeding while saying "nenen", and now he responds with a strange whimper/giggle sound whenever I do it. It only happens just before nursing while I sign "milk"!!!

Eventually we'll start on other signs but I figured this is the most important one for now. He's starting to wave bye-bye now, too, but mostly when he wants out of a situation - he waved bye to the nurse at the pediatrician's office the other day and to our neighbor when he was at her house because he finally wanted to go home after being there for ages (without mommy and daddy, and it was his choice...he followed her home! He's infatuated by her).

Nine months! Here's to another nine, hopefully :D

If your child perished in a car accident because you didn't put them in a carseat?

The #1 cause of death of children aged 1-4 in the united states is motor vehicle accidents:
http://www.statisticstop10.com/Causes_of_Death_Toddlers.html

At least in the US carseats are the law. I'm glad for that. Even then a lot of people don't use and install it properly. But in Malaysia? HAH! There are babies just roaming about in the car. Not just in the backseat, sometimes in the front passenger seat too!

I was not in a carseat, as I'm sure most Malaysian people in my FList can relate to. But now we know better. We know for a fact that carseats saves lives. I know they are pricey, but to me carseats are a non-negotiable MUST-HAVE baby gear. If you can only afford one pricey baby gear, you can live without cribs and strollers. Get a carseat.

Now, some people do get carseats but after their child meets the maximum weight limit, they put the child in the car with just a seatbelt on (or, commonly in Malaysia, no seatbelt even). Watch this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azgBhZfcqaQ

I'm proud to say we just bought a Graco Nautilus convertible carseat for when Aqil outgrows his current rear-facing carseat (recommended on the site link at the Youtube video).

A friend of mine told me this story when I was newly pregnant and it is forever in my mind:
Her father and stepmother had just had a baby. They were out for a short drive, and less than a mile out they got into an accident. They only had a few bumps and bruises. The baby flew out of her stepmoms hands, out the windshield, and landed on the road. She died on the spot.

There are a few factors in this story that get to me: they were only going for a short drive (like barely even down the road) and the parents survived with only minor physical injuries.

I'm sorry if my standing on a soapbox is annoying anyone, but this issue just rubs me the wrong way. How can a parent put their child's life at risk for want of a simple thing like a carseat? :(

Gotta go, Aqil just woke up! We're going out for groceries in a bit (with Aqil safely strapped in his carseat on the way there, of course ;D ).

So I sent Farhan this link:
http://www.hypnobirthing.com.my/my-second-birth-painless-all-natural-unattended-homebirth
WARNING: Very detailed birth story and birth pictures - do not open the website unless you're OK with that!!!

I only sent it to him because I mentioned I wanted a Hypnobirth with our next child and I found this place in Malaysia that has classes, so I wanted him to see it.

But he opened the link in front of me just now and said "OK, you can do this". For those who didn't open the link, it is a birth story about a woman's unassisted birth at home. In my dreams I would love to do it, but never thought I'd be given the go-ahead by Farhan!

Of course two seconds later he saw the pictures and was like "Gross!" but he seems OK with the thought of not only a homebirth, but an unassisted homebirth! I really thought it would take a lot more persuasion, but I guess I underestimated my awesome husband. I probably would not go with an unassisted childbirth...I would prefer to have a midwife there just in case. But still, it seems that my ever-loving husband will respect whatever decision I make! How lucky am I? I guess I should have guessed it...after all, he has been my #1 supporter in breastfeeding. I love my hubby *Girly giggle*

For those who are wondering why on earth would I want a homebirth, especially considering my last childbirth involved me getting an epidural, its because I plan (with the next baby, which hasn't even been conceived yet *LOL*) to actually be more prepared and have a better arsenal of natural techniques of handling pain at my diposal. I now know the pain of labor, and I don't doubt it will be severely painful next time, but this time I WILL take the time to learn pain-coping techniques.

Epidural helped with my pain, but it caused so much harm afterwards...the side effects are not worth it to me. I fainted several times, was woozy for days, had a baby who was lethargic to the point of falling asleep during ever feeding (and had a lazy latch, which lead to supply issues, which led to mastitis). I also had a very stressful labor and felt rushed. I also had an episiotomy that took ages to recover from (and, if you must know, was very long, it is the length of pretty much my entire perineal area). I spent a week at the hospital, and was uncomfortable the whole time...I really only started recovering after coming home.

I am NOT complaining about my experience of childbirth. After all, in the end, I had my beautiful baby boy in my arms and couldn't be happier. I've just learned that that kind of hospital birth where they treated childbirth as a medical emergency and not a natural process, its just not for me. I'd rather be at home, where I'm comfortable, and where we can settle down as a family right away...without the nurses coming in every three bloody hours to check on me. I need some sleep, woman!!!